To the Breastfeeding and Other Bad Drivers out there....
The breastfeeding, driving mom has certainly caught everyone's attention recently. She makes Britney Spears' driving habits seem FAA-approved in comparison! I won't go on about what a stupid thing she did; wittier minds than mine have already done that, and besides, what's the use? She's totally unrepentant about it, so they might as well suspend her license and be done with it.
But I say, why stop with her? There are so many other bad drivers deserving of a verbal spanking. This bad weather seems to have drawn out everyone's worst driving habits — and my worst moods. Here's what I'd like to say to these people:
To the tailgater: If you want to go faster, you're free to change lanes.
To the rubbernecker: Yes. That's an accident. Now Move On.
To the car in the lane beside me who occasionally drifts into my lane, so close to my car we could roll down the windows and hold hands: Are you having trouble with your steering or alignment? Are you narcoleptic?
To the truck driver who gave my husband the finger and shouted, "I hope you f*#%ing die!!": My husband only tooted you because your gigantic truck was swerving into his lane and he thought you may not have seen him. By the way, he was on a motorcycle and you nearly knocked him off his bike.
To the hothead lane-changer in the souped up car who doesn't look, doesn't signal and goes from the leftmost lane to the rightmost lane so quickly that his car is actually pointing diagonally, not straight: You are not Speed Racer. This is not a video game.
To the person in the rightmost lane who does not intend to exit, sees me signalling, knows I need to get into his lane to exit — and actually speeds up so that I can't: Your selfish karma is going to catch up with you someday.Continued on the next page