Our Family's 2007 Naughty or Nice? List
Here is our Family's 2007 Naughty or Nice? List that was supposed to be published by Shutterfly in our holiday card, but they screwed up. Here is life with twin five-year olds summed up in fewer than 1500 characters. I'd love to hear what you had on your hands this year, too!
Our Family's 2007 Naughty or Nice? List:
Dog Envy: If you like someone's dog, ask the owner when she is going to die. If there are other family members, inquire about their estimated dates of death. Offer to take care of the dog.
Delaying Tactics: If you don't like karate, tie on your yellow belt, then tie the long ends around a banister with, like, 5 knots. Guaranteed to tick off your mom and make you 10 minutes late for class.
Boyfriend Criterion per Kitty Cat (5): "Bigger teeth than me."
Synonyms: If you are scared to get stitches on your fingertip, don't trust your parents. If you flail your arms and yell for an hour, they'll try to calm you by saying you're getting SUTURES not stitches. Guy-guy (5) will tell you that "snoochers" hurt just as much as stitches.
Food Projects: Shaking milk for an hour will not make butter. A baby fish will not hatch out of the salmon roe egg you are holding. However, food left under your carseat will grow black "hair."
Online Gaming: Happily, you chose a unique name for your new Webkinz - no one else has it! Sadly, your online opponents abruptly quit playing checkers with you after they yell, "MOM, I'm playing checkers with TINKLE MACHINE!"
Immortality: When at the SF Zoo, correct the docent when she explains how the zoo got the giraffe bones. When she says, "everything dies," don an accusatory expression for a moment, then remind her that Santa is the main exception to that rule.*
Would love to hear your family anecdotes, too!
*post-script: this was before the tiger mauling incident.
Alix also blogs at www.mednauseum.blogspot.com, a blog devoted to research supporting dietary and environmental causes of chronic illness.