Reinventing Myself After Baby #2
I love the term “reinventing oneself.” It’s full of possibilities. It can mean a new wardrobe, a new haircut or something more profound, like a big life change.
For me, reinventing myself came out of necessity after I abruptly quit my corporate job when I was eight months pregnant with my second child. Burned out, exhausted, stressed and running myself into the ground, I decided to call it quits. The work environment wasn’t conducive to having one child, never mind two. I had negotiated a “part-time” arrangement, which meant I worked from 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Still, client responsibilities and evening events stretched the 5:00 p.m. until much later into the evening. I’d had enough and I quit. It wasn’t my best moment. I didn’t handle it as gracefully as I should have. But at eight months pregnant there was nothing graceful about me or my attitude.
Suddenly, I was a stay-at-home-mom to a three-year old daughter, with my second child due in a month. The first few days, I was in a wonderful, calm, zen-like state of mind. I couldn’t believe my good fortune. For the first time in years, I wasn’t on somebody else’s schedule. I took long walks, picked up my daughter early from preschool, grocery shopped and enjoyed my newfound freedom.
Before long, the reality set in. I was a stay-at-home mom, without a network of friends. My friends all worked. Who could I call to get together with? I couldn’t think of a single person. I realized that if I was going to be a full-time stay at home mom, I’d need to reinvent myself. So I did.
After my son was born, I joined a Mommy and Me class, something I’d never had time to do before. Mommy and Me classes have their own playground pecking order: the pretty and popular moms, the frumpy moms, the sleepy moms and the moms who just don’t care. But, I digress, My son and I had fun, even though I didn’t really click with anybody. I made friends with moms in my neighborhood and we took our kids to music class together. This transition to staying home full-time wasn’t without some very lonely days. There were times when I spent the entire day alone with my son. It was more difficult than I ever imagined. I had more than my share of ups and downs. My husband was relieved when I quit my job. He couldn’t stand to see me so stressed. Still, this was a big change for our family, financially and for me, emotionally.Continued on the next page