Is Tiger Love Feral or Admirable?
Have you read the excerpt from Amy Chua's new book that has gotten the nation in a tizzy? I'm sure by now you probably have, but I finally felt compelled to write this because I disagree with most of the blogosphere's reactions to her words.
Strength of Ego
They [Chinese Parents] assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.
This struck me as very true. We are so worried about bolstering our children's ego that we are giving them all "participation awards" and often refuse to judge them first, second, and third. We are yelling at coaches for not playing our children enough, even though it is clear to everyone that our kid isn't as good as the others. We switch leagues because clearly there is something wrong with them, the coaches and the directors, if they can't see how brilliantly our child plays. We tell our kids they are good at everything they attempt without distinction or honesty. Have you seen some of the contestants trying out for American Idol? Were their parents really doing them a favor by telling them they could sing?
Our real world involves competition and defeat, don't you think we do our children a disservice if we don't prepare them for real life? Championing Your Child.
If the child's grades do not improve, the "American Parents," may eventually schedule a meeting with the school principal to challenge the way the subject is being taught or to call into question the teacher's credentials.
We are criticizing the teacher's competency and dedication because clearly she is a bad teacher or my kid would be progressing more. We are questioning the teacher's ability to control her classroom because clearly that is the only reason our child could have acted out. We are screaming at teachers in principal's offices because said teacher dared to criticize our child in front of the class - even when it's warranted. We are proud that we may have jeopardized the teacher's reputation and perhaps even her job because it proves what a great parent we are for battling for our child. We tell the story as our badge of mothering and describe it as I'm Mama Bear, beware anyone who goes after my cubs. I have heard this spoken of as championing our children. Is it truly being their champion though? What are we teaching them when we do this?Continued on the next page