I told a white lie this past weekend: “I’m pregnant.” It was innocent, I promise. I wasn’t trying to get a seat on the bus or move to the front of a bathroom line. It was so much simpler than that. I was at a friend’s birthday party at a bar in the city and in order to get into her party I had to purchase a bracelet for $33, which would also give me access to “all I could drink.” For me, that would be a waste since I wasn’t interested in drinking all I could that night. There was only one way to get out of forking over the money: Play pregnant. So I did.
My husband and I drove to the party with the intention of heading home early-ish and only one of us actually purchasing the bracelet. We’ve learned that these deals (and going out in general) aren’t what they used to be when you have to wake up at 5 am, chase a toddler around all day, and are trying to be more responsible about your cash. We mistakenly thought that if we explained that my husband was the designated driver that would be enough. It didn’t work that way. “Well, I’m not getting a bracelet. I’m pregnant.” I didn’t even think about it, it just came out of my mouth.
The 22 year old bouncer shuffled nervously and said, “Oh, um, OK. Then that’s fine.” When I walked up the stairs into the party I assured myself that it was an OK lie, it won’t come back to haunt me… Right? The economy is tough and our property tax bill just doubled (another story for another more frustrating day), so if I have to play pregnant to save some dough, it doesn’t count. There was just this little voice in my head that said, “Don’t jinx it, you idiot! You want to have another kid someday. Karma may hold this one against you.” So, I feel like I have to come clean and confess to cleanse my ovaries.
Telling the lie to the door guy was the easy part, the harder part was convincing my friends that I was lying to the door guy. I even took sips out of their stiff drinks to prove that I indeed was not pregnant, just cheap. Geez, I hate lying. I’m not encouraging you to do it, but there are times that it is necessary and I feel like this was one of them. In the end, the bar made their money off of us. My husband paid up for the bracelet and enjoyed one drink. I asked if it was the best $33 cocktail he’s ever had and he shrugged. Man, I wish he would have just lied about it to make it feel less wasteful.
This is an original post to Chicago Moms Blog. Lisa H. usually enjoys a good drink(s) and is not pregnant. She blogs at Hannemaniacs. Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.