Blackmailed Google Reluctantly Launches Mafia+ Social Network
This article is for entertainment purposes only; facts and opinions included may be partly or entirely fictional.
As you might know, today is a very special day in the history of social networks: Google is launching the Mafia+ social network. Unlike Google+, the company isn't very proud of it, though.
I heard rumors that Google CEO Larry Page was "motivated on a very personal level" by New York mafiosi, so I went to Mountain View to check it out. As you might remember, last time I spoke with him it seemed his hormones were getting the better of him.
As I entered his office, I immediately noticed a couple of suspicious Mafia bozos sitting around on his sofa. "Oh, don't worry", said Larry, "These are Mario and Bruno. They are here for my… uhm, protection." The gorillas nodded with a grin.
When I asked about the Mafia+ network, Larry leaned forward and said softly, "I know. It's a disaster, but the mob is blackmailing me with stuff from my Google Porn account." Mario smiled as he pointed to a suitcase in the corner of the room. "Believe me. You don't want to that stuff to come out."
Page almost blushed. "Hmmm. Well, let me tell you about our new network", he mumbled, trying to avoid looking at Bruno's shiny Colt .45. He cleared his throat and sighed. "I really can't do this. Bruno, why don't you tell our visitor about Mafia+?" he asked.
One of the ads Google has been forced to run to promote Mafia+
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"Of course. My pleasure", said the giant hitman, baring several gold teeth as he smiled. "Mafia+ is great stuff. First of all, it has a built-in Person Finder. Makes it so much easier to find guys that owe me stuff. Even if they're dead. And you get notified when someone is getting shot. Just love it!"