Watch For Exploding Ice Fishing Houses
PerpPlexity is a periodical celebration of criminals who have yet to reach the mastermind status — we'll settle for asking them to simply think the next time.
So many stupid criminals go it alone. If only these people had accomplices — or at the very least someone to tap them on the shoulder and say "uh, I don't know about this" — perhaps this feature could be avoided. But today's submission was a group effort, so break the trophy into equal parts and enjoy it as a team. Remember: there's no "I" in "KA-BOOM!"
Rochester, Minnesota's Cascade Lake is a fine place to go ice fishing, given by the simple fact that people apparently dragged houses onto its frozen surface. The only concern is that, occasionally, some locals are going to come by and blow up your house.
After a land house dweller called in a noise complaint, police apprehended a 17- and a 20-year-old who then confessed to the detonation of two ice fishing houses Sunday morning. They do have names, but the authorities are not sharing them. They have also not yet been charged, but the offense may or may not rhyme with "schmarson."
The two amateur pyrotechnicians found the near-perfect hiding spot after their frozen water fireworks show was over: back to the underage drinkin' party where their novel idea was originally conceived. There was just one problem. The neighbors ID'd them by the shoes they were wearing.
Since these young kids are rather new to the concept of alcohol-fueled ideas, let it be known that many of the world's greatest ideas and solutions have come while drunk, high, or both. But here's the rub: once the genius steps outside his own reality, the idea becomes as reliable as a house of cards on an electric football field. Which is why the idea of curing all forms cancer with microwave ovens is so brilliant that you should probably keep it to yourself.
Why yes, that's a Getty Images photo. Thanks for noticing.