Uncle Bill's Bedtime Stories for Progressives
Hey there, Progressive Parents --
Have you ever laid awake at night wondering why there nobody ever wrote any bedtime stories for YOUR kids?
Let's face it. Most of the current bedtime stories have a conservative moralistic slant to them — kid misbehaves, kid gets caught misbehaving, kid gets torn to pieces by bears, eaten by wolves or slow-roasted by witches. Is that the kind of message you want to leave with YOUR kid as he or she drifts off to sleep at night? Or would you prefer a storybook full of stories with a LIBERAL moral that makes them LAUGH at the foibles of those who would steal their liberties in the name of "Liberty"?
Of course you would.
That is why I am happy to announce that I will soon be announcing the publication of my latest volume of work:
There are 30 stories in this big, large-print, colorfully illustrated story book that will leave your kids chuckling their way to sleep, thinking about justice for the poor and middle class.
As a special added feature, there is an appendix of funny foto-shopped funnies that I've included for your hip, smarter-than-average kids to laugh at.
But because I like CONSERVATIVE money as well as LIBERAL money, I have included a few "Fables for Conservatives." If your kids are sophisticated enough to "get" the irony (as I assume they are with you being a hip, Liberal parent), they can read these without harm.
This book is not available yet. It will be soon. Much of it has already appeared in this column, but nearly half of it is brand new material, like this...
GOD AND JESUS DISCUSS EARTHLY POLITICS
In his Almighty Office, the Omnipotent Holy Lord God of Hosts rubbed His weary eyes. He punched the intercom button on His desk.
“Judith, would you find my Son and tell Him I’d like to talk to Him, please?”
“Right Away, Most Holy Father,” Judith replied.Continued on the next page