Turmoil in the Tea Party!
"If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there."
-- Lewis Carroll
There is turmoil in the Tea Party today. Rumors are swirling that the Republicans and Democrats may forge a deal that will forestall the destruction of the world economy.
The Tea Party has summoned House Speaker John Boehner to give an accounting of himself. Senator Jim DeMint (R-SC) tells him the Tea Party has BUSINESS to conduct with him!
"But I don't want to go among mad people," Boehner remarked.
Oh, you can't help that," said the DeMint: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
How do you know I'm mad?" said Boehner.
You must be," said DeMint, "or you wouldn't have come here."
So Boehner found himself at a joint meeting of Senate and House Tea Party members. The Speaker tried to explain why the deal being floated was good for everyone. Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA), however, disagreed. He thought it was completely possible for the Tea Party to get EVERYTHING it wanted, to give the Democrats NOTHING, and have it declared "bipartisan."
Boehner laughed. "There's no use trying," he said. "One can't believe impossible things."
"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky). "When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
"When you were MY age," the Speaker stammered...
"Never mind," Senator DeMint said. "The bottom line is this. We of the Tea Party do not accept any deal that doesn't call for the instantaneous passage of a Balanced Budget Amendment, spending cuts of a jillion dollars effective immediately, and a public horse-whipping of the president."
"And no tax increases," Michelle Bachmann said. "Ever!"
"That's nonsense," Boehner cried. "The Bush tax cuts expire automatically next year. Do you really think the Democrats will allow us to extend them?"
Bachmann's eyes rolled back into her head until all you could see was the bloodshot whites.Continued on the next page