O’Donnell Mania Sweeps the Capitol
Almost universally, both Democrats and Republicans are rooting for Christine O’Donnell and her long shot bid to win a seat in the Senate next term. This is true even though almost no one expects her to win and most Delaware voters believe she’s unqualified.
How can that be? Well for starters, no one who actually works, serves in, or reports on government believes any of that sky-is-falling crap we hear every election season. You don’t really think Newt Gingrich actually believes that Sharia Law is infiltrating our court system, do you? No. Apocalyptic pronouncements like these are tactics. They’re aimed at getting out the vote. Insiders know that our democracy will survive no matter which party is in power.
That’s not to say that people don’t strongly believe in their own philosophy of government. Republicans do believe in competitive society and accept losers as the price we pay for getting winners. Democrats do believe in cooperative society and tolerate the occasional cheat as the price one pays for ensuring a social safety net. Who will lose his or her Hill job (in a regime change) is much more urgent than whether or not the government will turn toward socialism if Democrats are in power or toward fascism if Republicans win. No insider really believes that crap.
Which leads back to O’Donnell mania. If the sky is not falling, then maybe it’s OK to indulge your quality of life a little. And everyone agrees that O’Donnell is sure to produce a ton of laughs. The most giggled about aspect of her history – dating a witch or two and feasting at a death altar – is undoubtedly the least of it. Many years ago she appeared in the Meghan McCain role (young, out-of-step conservative) on Bill Maher’s show and she didn’t disappoint. But the clip obviously shows a young woman still trying to figure out how she got there. We are all interested in seeing what else Bill might have, but I suspect she simply offered more of the same. Nothing to see here…
What is generating belly laughs around the water cooler is the idea that the woman in that video may never have masturbated. It’s fair to surmise that everyone who works in, serves in, or writes about government has masturbated. I confess I have. And you know what? If you’re under 40, the notion that self-gratification is sinful leads directly to a wide-eyed “You’re kidding, right?” I can’t really picture Phyllis Schafly visiting the altar of self, but she’s the only person I can think of who might be a me-virgin. Well, except O’Donnell apparently. A life devoid of orgasm may just be the best explanation for her worldview. It certainly explains her wound-up, chipmunk-like demeanor.Continued on the next page