Michael Moore Wants To Be Obama's Life Coach
Okay, "chief of staff" is the technical term. But a rename of the office makes too much sense after what the filmmaking Michigander has in mind for his next dream job.
Moore wrote for the Huffington Post in open letter format. Wish Rahm Emanuel good luck and well wishes, because Moore would like to take his place and lay down some new ballbusting rules:
Now, don't get too giddy with excitement over my offer, because you and I are going to be up at 5 in the morning, seven days a week and I am going to get you pumped up for battle every single day. Each morning you and I will do 100 jumping jacks and you will repeat after me:
"THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ELECTED ME, NOT THE REPUBLICANS, TO RUN THE COUNTRY! I AM IN CHARGE! I WILL ORDER ALL OBSTRUCTIONISTS OUTTA MY WAY! IF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M DOING THEY CAN THROW MY ASS OUT IN 2012. IN THE MEANTIME, I CALL THE SHOTS ON THEIR BEHALF! NOW, CONGRESS, DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!"I was pretty sure that's how Emanuel already operates. Except it's 25 pushups and 25 chin-ups.
I don't agree with Moore on much, but I love his passion, his diligence, and his style. (And his admiration for the Rust Belt.) But sometimes I see something that I absolutely cannot let go.
Really, Mr. Moore? You're going with a Brett Favre jersey as a motivational tool? When trying to condition the president into a "decider" akin of George W. Bush, why channel the ultimate sports waffler? Drew Brees is so hot right now after the Super Bowl win. Or perhaps you could pick the Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback for Obama's second favorite NFL team, who seems to get his way on and off the field.
These are the type of important decisions you won't be able to defend when you become the White House Secretary of Gettin' Shit Done.