GOP Promises Live Execution at Next Debate
Bouyed by the audience reaction to Ron Paul's assertion that a person who has no health insurance should be allowed to die, a statement he made to shouts of approval from the audience, the Florida Republican Party has promised to begin its next GOP Candidate Debate with a live execution.
And none of this lethal injection stuff, either. The condemned person — chosen at random from Florida's Death Row, will be brought on stage in chains and fastened to a steel chair. Each of the contenders will be given a meat cleaver. The audience will then vote on which of the candidates chopped at the condemned person with the most gusto.
This development comes after this very telling moment from last night's debate, hosted by the Tea Party Express and the former news organization once known as CNN.
This moment rivaled the crowd's reaction to Rick Perry's boast that he has killed more people in his time as governor than any other human being walking the Earth, and it worries him not that some may have been innocent. It was the applause line of the night.
Ruben "Rube" Rubens, chairman of the Pulpfree County Republican Committee in Florida, where the next debate will be held on Sept. 22 — said it was a natural idea, seeing as how Fox News, Google and the Florida Republican Party are sponsoring the debate.
"We'll show them aggies what they got in Texas that we may not have as many executed crimnuls as they do, but we do it with savage intent," Rubens said. He also said safeguards would be in place to keep the candidates from either accidentally or intentionally chopping up each other.
"We don't wanna go that far," Rubens said. "Not yet, no how."