Feature: Observations of a Brain Damaged Troll

But Where's the DOOM? We Expected DOOM!

Author: Bill Schmalfeldt
Published: August 28, 2011 at 9:28 am
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Let's switch channels and see how the 24/7 Cable News Media is handling the aftermath of the hurricane.

We'll start with CNN.

(click)

ANDERSON COOPER: Downgraded? Really? Already?
ANCHOR: 'Fraid so, Coop.
COOPER: So we can't even call it a hurricane any more?
ANCHOR: Nope. It's Tropical Storm Irene now.
COOPER: But those are still dangerous, right?
ANCHOR: Sure they are.
COOPER: ALL RIGHT, then!

OK, let's see what MSNBC is doing...

(click)

AL ROKER: Look at the flags here on Long Island. They're drooping.
ALEX WITT: Doesn't look like there's that much wind.
ROKER: We certainly expected more than this.
WITT: Any deaths reported in New York?
ROKER: Not that I've heard of.
WITT: Dammit. But we do have this report of nine deaths in North Carolina.
ROKER: That's a long way from New York, Alex.
WITT: Yeah, I know. But the weather guys promised us a big storm.
ROKER: That's weather for you.

OK — Fox News now.

(click)

BLONDE ROBOT #1: Of course, you know that starting tomorrow, Obama's supporters will say he gets the credit for the lack of destruction because he cut his vacation short.
BLONDE ROBOT #2: Right. And they'll compare him to Bush and blame him for eating cake with John McCain when Katrina killed all those negroes.
BLONDE ROBOT #1: But that was Obama's fault, too!
BLONDE ROBOT #2: Yes. Why DIDN'T Barack Hussein Obama TELL President Bush to go to New Orleans?

Back to CNN...

(click)

COOPER: Now the sun is poking through the clouds.
ANCHOR: Weren't we promised flooded streets choked with floating corpses in Manhattan?
COOPER: That's what I thought...
ANCHOR: And now, all we have is these shots of Battery Park on the south end of Manhattan with about 4-inches of water in a parking lot and the cops yelling at people to stay out of the puddles.
COOPER: But there is still danger. This storm isn't done yet.
ANCHOR: Yeah, maybe Hurricane Irene will kill folks in New England.
COOPER: There's always that hope.

Back to MSNBC:

(click)

WITT: Now we're talking to Ron Hall in New Bedford, Mass. What's going on, Ron.
HALL: It looks like a tragedy in the making, Alex. Look over there, that boat with the orange trim? It's coming loose from its mooring. It could float free and bump into other boats, causing hundreds of dollars in damage.
WITT: Is it raining there, Ron?
HALL: Not a drop, Alex.

Back to Fox:

(click)

KARL ROVE: Of COURSE Obama will use his response to Hurricane Irene in his campaign material. That's why his opponents have to be ready with their opposition commercials.
CHRIS WALLACE: Maybe they could say that Obama overestimated the strength of the storm and wasted a great deal of taxpayer money on a storm that never really amounted to anything?
ROVE: That's what I'd do, Chris.

Continued on the next page
 
 

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Article Author: Bill Schmalfeldt

I took a couple years away from writing my Technorati column. Well, I'm back. And with a vengeance.

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