A Modest Proposal
Teachers are once again under fire, this time in Tennessee. Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam signed off on House Bill 130 and Senate Bill 113, giving state boards control of schools and ending collective bargaining. That's right teachers, even though you spend your entire lives inside the classroom with the kids, you now have zero say in what goes on. You actually have less rights under this bill than a migrant worker. But it's okay, because your job is meaningless. You only have to bend to the whim of school boards (who rarely step foot inside the institutions they claim to advocate for). You only have to take flack for not taking more of a interest in the students (ie, you are not acting as a parent), and when you do, you are considered nothing more than a glorified babysitter. You spend hundreds and sometimes thousands of dollars each year of your own money to make up for the deficits in the classroom supplies. Your job is considered worthless because you serve the weak and poor. But it's okay, educators. I have a plan.
The corporate world is so much easier, folks. Your skills in communication, multitasking, and group dynamics will easily transfer over. You will work far less hours for far more pay. No office will ever ask you to purchase your own paper or toner - someone buys that for you! Heck, you will even get an entire half hour a day for lunch, usually at a real table and chairs, not standing around a playground watching the students or furiously grading papers. People will actually respect your job, whatever it is, because it feeds into the capitalist structure, and as we all know when you create money you have worth. You're no longer wasting your time with people who can't vote or lobby Congress. Children don't have money to contribute to campaigns; they're worthless to politicians, and they should be worthless to you.Continued on the next page