Wal-Mart Patron Illegally Marinades Steaks
PerpPlexity is a periodical celebration of criminals who have yet to reach the mastermind status — we'll settle for asking them to simply think the next time.
It seems that Ohio and Minnesota are currently battling for our attention. Advantage: the Buckeye State.
Let's go to Akron's fraternal twin sister city Canton, where friendly Wal-Mart shopper Robert T. Jenkins was arrested for pissing on the steaks early this morning. (The "T" has to be for T-Bone.) And what is this burst of flavor you add to every cutlet, oh minimum-wage butcher?
Usually those bathrooms are quite easy to find: they're right up in the front. Sometimes the meat section's the hardest place to find, especially at night.
Felony vandalism and disorderly conduct are the charges brought forth unto this 21-year-old amateur meat inspector, who was taken into a safe place where he could only urinate on himself and perhaps the guy next to him.
No word if the steaks were mopped off and re-sold as bologna.