TheFurFiles - Weirded Out By Women, Normal Or Not, The Waiting Game
Madame Floretta “Fern” De Villiers, a.k.a. “Amanda Fox” is an author of erotic fiction and commentary. This is her weekly advice column.
Friday, April 1st, 2011.
I can meet women and talk to women, but when it comes time to having sex with a woman, I completely freeze. I mean, it’s really hard. I get nervous and I fidget and I look like an idiot. I don’t know if I can do it. I give up. That’s it. I’m done. My life is over.
Trying In Toronto
Dear “Trying” My Buttooski,
Lots of situations are difficult. Think about the butterfly trying to escape the clutches of a five-year-old boy. Think about the mouse trying to get from the kitchen table to its hole in the wall underneath the cupboards with the cat sleeping in the middle of the room. Think about trying to convince a sixteen-year-old that there is life outside of the Internet. Think about Charlie Sheen trying to get people to think he’s normal ever again. Think about trying to stop your neighbor from putting a bag filled with dog poop on your doorstep after you let Shamus do his business on your adjoining front lawns all winter long. But difficult or not, there are some things that NEED to be worked through. Seriously, what are you going to do, avoid women by curling into a fetal position and eating arrowroot cookies in bed for the rest of your life?
As any top-level athlete or successful businessman – or Tony Robbins – will tell you, positive imagery goes a long way in helping to overcome obstacles.
Thus, if you want to be having sex with a woman, then it’s time you IMAGINED having sex with a woman. And the more detail you put into your thoughts, the better. Here, let me get you started…
Imagine meeting the girl of your dreams and inviting her to spend the night with you somewhere romantic, say in “The Stanford White Studio” of The Chatwal Hotel in New York City, or in one of the thirty-eight luxury villas of the Ubud Hanging Gardens in Bali. Imagine entering the room, her hand clasped tightly in yours. Imagine letting the door swish shut as you put your finger to her chin and kiss her softly on the mouth, your other hand trailing down her body from her shoulder to her fleshy, rounded behind. Imagine pulling playfully away from her to then sit on a chair in the corner of the room. Imagine telling her that you want to watch her get undressed and that she should do it slowly so you don’t miss a thing. Imagine this gorgeous woman then removing her Jean Yu chemise, the silk pooling on the floor at her feet. Imagine watching as she unclasps her black lace brassiere and steps out of her matching thong to stand before you all amorous and ready for action. Imagine staring at her for another few minutes, making her uncomfortable but that much hornier. Imagine finally getting up and going over to delicately touch and caress every part of her body while she trembles with desire. Imagine her saying, “Kiss me [Trent or Bob or whatever your name is]” as she looks at you with eyes so willing and soulful that you think you just might explode in your pants right then and there. Imagine wantonly pressing your lips to hers and taking her in your arms, lifting her up and carrying her to the bed. Imagine… well, I think you can imagine the rest.Continued on the next page