TheFurFiles - Nude Dude, Choke Me/Stroke Me, Vacation Fornication
Madame Floretta “Fern” De Villiers, a.k.a. “Amanda Fox” is an author of erotic fiction and commentary. This is her weekly advice column.
Friday, November 19th, 2010.
My wife likes to analyze our sex life, or should I say, she likes to OVERANALYZE our sex life. Do we do things the right way? Do we do the things that everybody else does? Do we have sex often enough? Should we do it longer, harder or faster? Should we do it with toys or without?
If she would just shut up about it, things would be fine, but she can’t seem to do that and it’s driving me nuts. Any advice?
Less Talk, More Action
So I was watching some reality television the other day and the show was about this guy who didn’t have a head. Maybe you saw it? His name was Andros and he was amazing. Of course, he didn’t talk much and he had a seeing-eye dog, but other than that, he was completely self-sufficient. And you’d think someone like that would be depressed about his lot in life. I mean, I get down on myself if I accidentally put my socks on inside out. Not this guy. He was like a ray of sunshine. He was even engaged to a woman named Suzette and they made the cutest couple ever.
Now, you may assume that Suzette would fess up and admit to wishing that her fiancee was different like, “Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish Andros actually had two eyes, a nose and a mouth. A kiss every once in a while would be nice.” The funny thing was, she seemed to love him in all his headless glory.
And it should be the same for you Less, neurotic wife or not. But if you are too much of a wet blanket to get past your wife’s propensity for investigatory processes – a habit that can prove very, very helpful in quite a few circumstances – then there is one thing I recommend.
And I am the perfect person to make this recommendation too as I am of the same ilk as your wife, though UNLIKE you, my husband considers my penchant for analysis a gift. Therefore, all you have to do is give her something to occupy her mind – a few Sudoku and crossword puzzle books should do the trick.Continued on the next page