One Baseball Bat, 29 Flat-Screen TVs
Westley Strellis, a resident of Georgia, decided to make a trip to the local Always Low Prices consumerist trap we like to call Wal-Mart this Wednesday. As he walked towards the sporting goods section of the store, something was on his mind.
It cannot be confirmed, but one can only reason that what he was thinking was this: I love metal baseball bats, and I hate flat-screen televisions. How can I combine these two passions?
Strellis grabbed a metal baseball bat from the sporting goods section and walked over to the flat-screen televisions on display in the electronics section.
With bat in hand, perhaps he paused for a moment, to savor the anticipation of what was about to come next.
He smashed a flat-screen television with the baseball bat and then he smashed another, and then another, and then another, etc.
When the police arrived, Strellis was sitting on the floor in the electronics section, nonchalantly holding out his hands for the police officer to place him in handcuffs. Police found a bottle of Effexor XR, a prescription drug used to treat depression and anxiety, on his person.
He has been charged with 29 counts of criminal damage to property in the second degree and is currently being held in the Gwinnett County Jail. The televisions are estimated to be valued at over $22,000 USD.
Thanks a lot, Westley, I could have bought a possibly fake Ashera cat with that money.