GETTING HOUSED: Puppets and Dance Troupes on Big Brother
Wednesday night’s Big Brother did a good job of summing up the entire season in 30 minutes. There has been NO drama this season. No fights truly worth mentioning, no ruthless backstabbing, and close to no lying. Laughs, silliness, and a slightly dramatic decision fill another pleasantly boring Wednesday in the Big Brother House.
First, the fun part. When Lane opened Pandora’s Box he won $98.17 and punished the house with three different plagues.
First, they lost silverware and cups. Wacky! If you missed Enzo drinking wine out of a cereal bowl, well then, you missed out on watching something that is very easy to imagine.
The second plague was actually hilarious, which isn’t always what this house needs. It needs some more drama, something that affects the game. Like knives, or pictures of loved ones tied up. Instead, everyone got a sock-puppet that they had to use when speaking for the next 12 hours.
Each sock-puppet was made to look like a house guest. Little Ragan had a bowtie, Little Lane had a beard and a perfect replica of his plaid hat (complete with peace sign), Little Hayden had a mop top, Little Brit had blonde hair and sexy sleepy eyes (which she called horny drunk eyes), and Little Meow had a fedora and whiskers.
As usual, this was much better on After Dark but that’s only because everything is better with a sock puppet, so all 12 hours were worth watching. The final plague was to dance whenever the music started and don’t stop until it ends. Also enjoyable, because Hayden and Lane cannot dance.
So the three plagues were nothing more than an opportunity for us to laugh at the house. That’s fun. It is entertaining. But you know what else is entertaining? Watching people lie to each other, staging fights, spreading false rumors all in the name of half-a-million dollars.
This season has been like watching the New York Yankees in the late 90s. They were too good to even enjoy watching, steamrolling the competition, making most World Series unbearable to watch. The same can be said for the Brigade. They are too good, too committed, and too polite to make these episodes any good.Continued on the next page