The Crypt of Creepiness Presents Room 6
If Bob Etier thinks the best part of a movie is the nude rude lesbian vampire nurses, you know it has to be bad. And not in a good way.
As it gets closer to Halloween, our standards for scary movies may slip a bit, but Room 6 is a film that falls below the lowest standards, even those formulated in the sub-subbasement. This 2006 supernatural horror flick uses a tired device (which would be a spoiler if revealed here--as if the viewer couldn’t guess within the first ten minutes) to rationalize not making sense. If defense attorneys would perfect this formula no one would ever be convicted of anything.
The opening scene is creepy enough to be promising. A young woman is on an operating table and the surgeons are getting ready to cut. She is unable to speak but she is totally aware and panicking, and can feel the procedure. She is able to knock a surgical instrument from the tray, drawing attention to her state, and the doctors back off. Smiling (evilly--how else?), Nurse Ratched’s evil stepmother walks up to her and assures, “Oh, my dear, we know you are awake.”
That, unfortunately, was a nightmare, and the rest of Room 6 does not live up to its promise. With a few good CGI effects (the hospital walls) and one outstanding performance (Chloe Moretz as spooky little Melissa Norman), the movie can’t find its way out of its paper bag of a plot.
Teacher Amy (Christine Taylor) is morbidly afraid of hospitals. Her boyfriend Nick (Shane Brolly) proposes and she (sort of) blows him off. They meet again after school and are involved in a traffic accident with Jerry O’Connell (as Lucas Dylan), which sends Nick and Lucas’ sister to the hospital in unmarked ambulances. Facing up to her fear of hospitals, Amy goes to the closest one, only to find Nick isn’t there. She calls all the hospitals in the area, and he’s at none of them.Continued on the next page