Satire: Fraternity Party Sets Record For “Dudes” and “Bros”
The party at Alpha Delta last Saturday originally had no intention to make history. However, by the end of the night the fraternity had communicated the words “dude” and “bro” in record numbers.
Todd “Buzz saw” Johnson, President of Alpha Delta was “stoked” upon hearing the official news of his fraternity’s historic feat. “It started out as a regular party with the Pi Alpha’s, but halfway through I thought to myself, we might be able to pull this off.”
Ernie “The Animal” Thompson was credited with the first “dude” at 6:30pm when he inquired on the whereabouts of his shampoo. The final “dude” and “bro” was officially recorded during the fight between brothers Phil and Mark at 4:30am as they argued after Phil vomited on Mark’s brand new cargo shorts. “Those cargo shorts were the bomb,” exclaimed an angry Mark as he flicked off what looked to be pieces of pepperoni from his favorite shorts.
When told of the new record by the Alpha Delta house, evil dean Chambers vowed to close the Alpha Delta’s with an elaborate scheme. “I’ll get those boys,” said the dean thoughtfully, while starring out his window.