People's Sexiest Man Alive Is...
....a drunken pirate with a bit of a lisp and I couldn't agree more.
I know ten-year old girls who would shank you for suggesting otherwise. Yes, the eternally sexy Depp had retained his sexiness even at the ripened age of 46, and reclaimed his title after his win in 2003, making him one of only three who've won twice — George Clooney and Brad Pitt. Duh!
Few could complain about this choice, except for girls under the age of 16 who might be clawing their eyes out because dreamy Twilight star Robert Pattinson didn't win. Do not underestimate the rage of hormonal teen girls - they can be deadly.
Also making People's list was actor Ryan Reynolds, hubby to blond bombshell Scarlett Johannson, who was listed second after Johnny, but not necessarily in order. Others mentioned (plus my reactions) are:
Jake Gyllenhaal - Sweet, cute, charming...sure, but sexy, I'm not feeling it, but I bet Reese Witherspoon is ;)
Bradley Cooper - Nope - man sluts are NOT sexy.
Robert Downey, Jr. - Absolutely, he's worthy.
David Beckham - Judging merely on looks, sure, taste in women, eh.
Gilles Marini - Don't know much about this one, but I am willing to find out!
Three dudes from Glee: Cory Monteith, Matthew Morrison, Mark Salling -???
Nick Cannon - Really? No REALLY? Who's on this panel, Mariah Carey?
Adam Lambert - Morrissey and Michael Stipe helped me get over swooning for dudes who don't dig girls, no offense Adam. Perhaps I can borrow your glitter?
They preview several more, but we'll have to wait for the issue to get the full list. Glaring omissions from the top spots are all the hotties from HBO's hit series True Blood, which considering the growing popularity of vampires, shows a serious lack of insight.
Here's my totally biased top five list of sexiest men, pretty much in this order: Stephen Moyer, Alex Skarsgard, Ryan Kwanten, Sam Trammell and definitely one of my favorite characters, Nelsan Ellis.
If these men were left off, clearly the list isn't valid. Who says middle-aged women can't be hormonal — and dangerous. Grrrr.