Brangelina Working Overtime To Quell Rumors of a Split
Looks like Jennifer Aniston can put the champagne away, the world's most glamorous, philanthropic and child-laden couple AREN'T SPLITTING UP. GOT THAT? THEY ARE JUST FINE. OK?
Sorry for the Kanye Westian cap-lock attack, but the machine that is Brangelina has ratcheted things up a notch and they aren't playing anymore.
This weekend a legit-sounding story began circulating the interwebs suggesting Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie met with an attorney to discuss dividing their combined $350m in assets and working out a custody agreement for their 6 kids (three adopted, three biological.) Even though this story appeared in the side-eye inducing British tabloid News of The World, everyone jumped on this story like it was the last can of whipped cream at a pumpkin pie eating contest.
"Sources" started coming out of every nook and cranny denouncing this report as nonsense, emphatically stating "Brangelina are FINE." And now the NYDN is reporting yet another insider is stating "yes, Brad and Angelina did meet with a lawyer," but that's what rich people who aren't married and have kids do: they meet with lawyers, to discuss stuff, like you know, in case they DO break up.
Hey, this rumor must have hit some kind of nerve, because according to the weekly rags, these two have been on the verge of breaking up like, a million times. That is NOT an exaggeration. Why they are responding to the likes of a craptastic bunch of garbage from News Of The World seems pretty suspicious.
So it would seem the crazy and insanely weird universe of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie remains intact, for now. Thank goodness, I am not sure we could have handled the soul-crushing, heart-breaking sadness that would have ensued had they really split.
All Hail Brangelina! Seriously, get down and start genuflecting already, or a plague will be upon us.